I'm totally sick and need you to feel sorry for me. I went to bed with a fever last night at 11, got up at 7, went back to bed from 7:30 to 9:30, up until 11:30, then back to bed until 4:30. That was an hour ago. I still feel like shit. I'm coughing like a 70 year-old 5-pack a day smoker.
I'm angry about it. It's not fair to my hot wife. I was in another country, away from her and the kids for two weeks and as soon as I get home I'm so sick I can't even give my wife the anal she so desperately craves. An unspeakable tragedy.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I'm Very Sick. Send Me Money
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1 comments:
Dude, how did you ever find a picture of Tripods grandfather? The internet never ceases to amaze me. I need to start responding to all of those penile enlargement adds, I never knew what was possible.
What if all of that stuff really works? What if you could take a pill and look like this joker? I will say one thing, say good-bye to anal sex. If you look like this and you are with some one that can still take it like a prisoner your troubles have just begun.
This picture makes me smile. This old dodger looks happy. I’ll bet he got laid that day. Never under estimate the power of a sense of humor and a large rubber penis, or the slutiness of certain women. The kind of woman that go to Mardi Gras and flash their boobies to get cheap plastic beads.
There should be a statue dedicated to this kind of woman erected (pun intended) in the French quarter somewhere. The inscription could read “Bless all of those women who have not shred of self confidence or who drink enough to blind their better judgment and subdue their inhibitions.” That Joe guy from Girls Gone Wild should front the money to pay for the statue. That guy actually made money from this behavior, lots of money. My theory is that he is Gay and does not like women because when he saw them flashing him their boobies he looked around at all of the other idiots and had the thought “Hey, I could make money from this.” He was able to have an actual coherent and intelligent thought while watching a girl flash him. This proves he likes boys and not girls.
When a girl flashes me my thoughts are like oatmeal, just mush. Ask my wife, she flashes me when she wants me to forget something that was making me mad or grumpy it works every time.
I am going to start a charity where we hire women (young women) to go to hospitals to flash sick people. Can you imagine how happy this would make you? Dude, you are sick right now. How happy would you be if a strange woman walked into your room and showed you her breasts? We could call it The Mammary Miracle Network. I here and now claim copy rights on that name. This is my best idea ever.
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