Thanks to you know who you are for forwarding this info about Mike Huckabee's hot son, David, who killed a dog at a boy scout camp in 1998, when the Huckster was governor of Arkansas. Arkansas kicks ass. Crooks & Liars says:
Two boy scout counselors, 17 year old Clayton Frady and 18 year old David Huckabee, the son of Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, have admitted to catching a stray dog during their summer session at Camp Pioneer in Hatfield, AR, and hanging the dog by his neck, slitting his throat and stoning him to death.
Afterwards, though not reported, it is alleged by me that David Huckabee then ate the dog whole, in one swallow, which helps explain how he got to looking the way he does. Then he fucked his grandmother wearing a coonskin cap. You can read a bigger article about the Huckster's little eagle scout here. The picture of that family is the best. The guy is going to be our President if God has anything to say about it. Hopefully they'll all wear the same shirt on inauguration day.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
David Huckabee Loves Dogs
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I am just going to ignore this story of yet another F**ktard future serial killer being cruel to animals. This makes me too angry and I cannot be funny when I am that angry. I have noticed this same thing about you Dude. You must be angry a lot.
Let us focus on this photo. Here is how I see this whole thing unfolding. Huckster and his beautiful bride have just finished another fine meal of fried ham hocks and squirrel when she reminds him that it is time for the yearly family photo. But what are we to wear? Huckster thinks to himself as he wipes a piece of squirrel gristle from his third chin. “I know just what we can wear” she says sensing his thoughts before he even says a word. (She can actually read his thoughts. Jesus gave her this power as a bonus when she was praying for the power to be sexually attracted to a fat man. Jesus can grant you this power, my church is proof of this fact. There are many overweight disgusting men married to totally hot MILF in my church. The reverse is also true but I barely notice because I do not pay attention to overweight women.)
As she proudly pulls out her latest purchase from the Big and Tall (mostly big) in downtown Littlerock she remarks, “Jimbob down at the B&T says that if you wear stripes it makes you look less ‘husky’ and you know how the boys have struggled with their baby fat.” He looks over the three shirts he earlier mistook as new bed sheets sitting on the shelf in the closet and is pleased. “Look Honey Buns they even have elbow pads!”
Now the Photographer shows up at the house and he is thinking “holy shit how am I going to make this look good” as he walks back to his car to get his ‘wide angle’ lens. As he surveys the scene he first looks at the younger son and he thinks to himself, oh man that one is fat and red headed he will never get near a pussy he did not pay for I am going to help him out. “OK son yeah you ‘Red’ why don’t you lean over the bench with your arms folded like this…oh you can’t bend that way? Try moving your feet back some. No you don’t have to stay like that until right before I snap the picture so just rest for a minute.”
Then he turns his gaze to the older son and thinks; Hey isn’t that the F**ktard I read about in the paper that killed that dog. Well f**k him, I’ll just tell him to lean back face straight forward and stand up tall. That way the focal point will be his huge gut and the buttons hanging on for dear life on that part of his shirt he can never see. “Yea just stand up tall right in the middle (you f**king dog killer), yes you can lean on the bench if you are tired.”
Next he sees the younger sister and thinks like I did when I first saw this photo “I did not know that the Huckabee’s had a dwarf daughter?” Wait a minute she is not a dwarf, it just looks like she is because everyone else in her family is so damn huge. Poor girl, I wonder if she knows her ‘real’ dad? He might have been a pool boy then but he has a successful catfish farm just south of town now (Mrs. Huckster you little Minx you.).
Finally he seats Mr. and Mrs. Huckster and the family dog. I have no idea why she is choking the dog and he is holding his leg so he can’t escape. What in the F is wrong with these people and why to they like to torture dogs so much?
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