Say Goodbye to Someone You've Never Heard of

I don't have any idea who this woman is, but she's touched my heart for the last time. Some website called Page Six is reporting that:

Victoria's Secret angel Alessandra Ambrosio won't be strutting down the runway in her skivvies anytime soon. The Brazilian beauty, 26, is pregnant with her first child. "She's a few months along," said our insider, who's a fucking douchebag (last four words added). Ambrosio is thrilled, she told pals at a weekend party at the Hollywood Hills house of her boyfriend, Jamie Mazur.

This woman had her whole life in front of her and now it's over. Such a tragic waste of talent. In six months she'll weigh 220 and release a pint of vaginal discharge every day while screaming in Portuguese at her boyfriend to bring her another quart of "Chunky Monkey" so she can put celery in it. In a year she'll be on the talk show circuit so all the desperate moms out there can clap while she doles out mothering advice when she's had one baby for like 2 months and that baby has 17 nannies so she sees it like 20 minutes a day. The fact that she probably can't speak English doesn't make any difference. Neither can Rosie O'Donnell and she was the smartest bitch on the View. And every woman in America watches the View. American women watching the View is like men and masturbating. You have two kinds: those who do it and those who lie. By the way, is Babawawa still even alive? And if so, when she is going to overcome her speech impediment? I've had it up to here with that shit.