In video that is all over YouTube today, Amy Winehouse is shown smoking crack, snorting coke and doing a bunch of other stuff which, frankly I don't even know what she's doing. She could be humping a donkey for all I know, I've never done any of that stuff because I'm on the side of all the angels and I keep my nose clean. When the Angel Gabriel blows his horn for the last time you'll see me there, on the right hand of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Anyway, she talks a lot in this video and I swear to God I can't understand a word she's saying. Not one word. I mean, supposedly she's speaking the Queen's English, and when I hear her sing I can pretty much make out all the lyrics, but this might as well be in Chinese. Or whatever. I could literally talk out of my ass and it would be more coherent than whatever it is she's saying. I mean it. I'm not kidding you. I'm going to pull my butt cheeks back and forth until sound comes out and then I'll put subtitles on it and you'll see. I'll be talking about the state of the US economy. I'm a very serious person and this could really happen. I'm going to do it right now.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Amy Winehouse Is Eloquent
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I would still do her because A.) She is not overweight although she does have me considering an underweight clause and B.) I am a sucker for that accent. If I closed my eyes and she kept talking I could stay hard and get the job done.
Amy is finally going to get some help. According to her record label Amy is some kind of musical Mother Theresa sent to save the world.
"Amy decided to enter the facility today after talks with her record label, management, family and doctors," Universal Music Group said in a statement. "She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction. Amy is the most talented and important musical artist of her generation and has made huge strides on her road to recovery. Universal Music Group wants nothing more than to see her take the time she needs to come back to full health and fulfil her incredible potential with the label. The label has always had the best interests of Amy at heart and has been guided by her family and doctors in the last few months as to the best direction to take. All concerned feel that Amy must put her health before all considerations and will be by her side whenever and wherever they are needed."
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