The 2007 Academy Awards are sometime this year and if you're anything like me you're so excited you can hardly stand it. Who will be the host or hostess? Who will win best actress? Whose career will launch into the stratosphere because of the awards he'll command on this star-studded night? What will that hot little number Drew Barrymore wear on the Red Carpet? What will Joan and Vanessa Rivers say (I might have gotten her daughter's name wrong, I can't remember)? Will Liv Tyler wear a size 20 or a size 22 dress, or will she just borrow one from Carney Wilson? Oh my god there are just so many questions and I don't even know what to think about it all. I'm just all tied up in knots.
Thankfully the Academy of Sciences or the National Movies Whatever Whatever (the NRA?) announced the nominees for the major awards today. Below are my thoughts.
Best Picture:
Atonement - I've never heard of it.
Juno - I think I heard of it once
Michael Clayton - Never heard of it
No Country for Old Men - I think I saw the title in the NYT last week
There Will Be Blood - What the fuck is this? Never heard of it.
Actor:
George Clooney, "Michael Clayton" - This guy fucks 8 new chicks every day. He's the coolest guy in the world. Just give it to him right now. Everyone else does.
Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood" - I think he was in a movie once but I never saw it.
Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street" - Johnny Depp is cool. Have you ever seen What's Eating Gilbert Grape or that movie he's in with Al Pacino? He's good
Tommy Lee Jones, "In the Valley of Elah" - I don't have a joke for this
Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises." - Viggo Mortensen? What is this the Nobel Prize?
Actress:
Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" - Don't know her
Julie Christie, "Away From Her" - Never heard of her
Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose" - I saw her in a magazine in France yesterday. First I've ever heard of her. If I'm not mistaken she's not that hot. She'll probably win though. There's no black people in this year's options so they'll pick this chick.
Laura Linney, "The Savages" - Never heard of this movie and this chick is not hot. She was mediocre in the Truman Show but that was a very good movie. But she's not hot so fuck it.
Ellen Page, "Juno." - Never heard of her, this movie or anything to fucking do with Juno. What the fuck is going on here.
None of the people in the photo above were nominated. I just felt this post needed something interesting in it.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
The Academy Awards
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1 comments:
I will respond to this post because I liked the picture you found to start it all off with. The Thetan Warrior will definitely be a fan, he is a total ass-man and this shot will please him. I think the one in the pink on the right is my favorite, Mike?
Best Picture:
Atonement – Not bad, British WWII period film, Keira Knightly was OK in it..
Juno – Good indie teen pregnancy comedy/drama with a lot of heart and a very good debut performance by the lead. Jason Batemen plays a guy our age (late 30’s) who still thinks he is young and cool, very familiar.
Michael Clayton – Very average, I felt like I had seem the same film before, Aaron Brokavich theme is very overdone. Clooney was good.
No Country for Old Men – Very original and good like all Cohen Brother films. Good character actors.
There Will Be Blood – Have not seen it, I would bet it is good, Daniel Day-Lewis is one of the best actors working today, loved him as the ‘Butcher’ in Gangs of New York.
Actor:
George Clooney, I will agree he is cool but he is not banging Angelina like his buddy Brad.
Daniel Day-Lewis, I have not seen the movie but this cat should win a trophy for all his films.
Johnny Depp, Saw the film, he should get lots of trophies too and yes he is cool. He even live in France like you Dude. What do they think of him over there?
Tommy Lee Jones, No, film sucked, Tommy Lee is OK, he should have won for that home video he did with Pamela Anderson, did you see the size of that guys wiener?
Viggo Mortensen, I am a huge Viggo fan, (to the gates of Mordor HO!) I wish I had seen this film but I haven’t.
Actress:
Cate Blanchett, She was born to play this role but how much of a stretch is it for her really? No.
Julie Christie, OK I guess, I have seen better Cougars. She was in Troy, one of the worst films ever and she needs to be punished for that.
Marion Cotillard, She has got to be the favorite in France? Édith Piaf would be tough to pull off.
Laura Linney, I am not down with this chicks face, she is like a jacked up version of one of my all time favorites (N. Kidman).
Ellen Page, Juno is the name of the lead played by Ellen Page. She is very good in this roll as the sassy foul mouthed social fringe high school chick who gets pregnant giving her best nerd bud a sympathy lay.
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