I don't have any friends because I'm an asshole. I know people that tolerate me so they can hang out with my wife but that's pretty much it. The only people that like me are the ones that never see me. Like my mom. Maybe.
I read the New York Times most days and every Sunday for sure, and it has all these great articles that I want to forward to people but there's pretty much no one that wants to hear from me. So instead, I'm posting them here so all zero people that read this blog can enjoy them.
Have a great time.
1. Why the Superdelegates are a god damn joke.
2. Why the Board of Directors at Yahoo is retarded.
3. Why Daniel Powter may look like KFed but is a lot more talented.
4. Why Roger Clemens is a god damn liar, and why statistics kick ass.
5. How we figured out that fetuses can feel pain.
6. Why this man should be wiped off the earth.
7. Fuck you, New Yorkers. Could you possibly be more self-absorbed?
8. So long, chameleon-man.
9. A tough week for Mormons.
10. Why you should love a hideous heroin addict.
11. Finally some truth about rich and poor in the US.
Monday, February 11, 2008
I Don't Have Any Friends
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THE PICTURE ON THIS POST IS GREAT AND PUT ME IN THE MOOD FOR A NICE LONG COMMENT, ENJOY.
1. Superdelegates – While I fervently agree with almost everything this Tad guy says it is troubling to me that all of this wisdom flows from a moron. How could this guy proudly list his title at the end of the article, “Tad Devine, a Democratic strategist, was the chief political consultant to Al Gore’s presidential campaign in 2000”. He was partially responsible for losing a Presidential race to a retarded Jesus freak. Al Gore was no “Dream Candidate” but this guy lost to Bush, can we really trust him?
2. Yahoo - $44 Billion for a website, excuse me I mean web portal, no, no, um I mean information matrix, whatever, and they turn it down. Wow. Didn’t Cyclone turn down offers to be purchased? Where are they now? Google Rules, Microsoft Sucks. Yahoo is irrelevant.
3. Saying Daniel Powter is more talented then Kfed is like saying ice cream tastes better then air. Kfed has NO talent (unless marrying and impregnating white trash worth more the $100 Million dollars is a talent) and so saying Daniel Powter is more talented is stupid and an insult to DP. To say DP has any talent at all is to say he has more talent then Kfed.
4. Clemens is a F**king Liar - Here is my favorite quote from this article, “Statisticians call this problem selection bias.” Here is another example of selection bias = Four out of five participants in a gang rape are having a good time. One of the greatest baseball moments of my life was when I saw Roidger Clemens face Baroid Bonds in an early season game in Houston a few years back. It was an epic battle with Bonds striking out his second at bat with runners in scoring position only to come back several innings later to hit a 3 run homer to win the game. What a battle, the atmosphere in the stadium was amazing, I will never forget it. It does diminish it somewhat to know that these two athletes were using drugs to perform the way they did, but at that time I really did not care. I do not hate athletes for taking drugs; I hate athletes for lying about taking drugs. Clemens is a Fucking liar and I hate him. I hate Bonds less because he has not been so brazen in his lies and prefers anger and denial.
5. Doctors really do know very little about what they are doing – Even if a fetus can feel pain I still would not want to restrict the mother’s choice to end the life of that fetus with a law. I would like that mother to know the facts, but just the facts. Knowing that a fetus can feel pain is an important fact that a mother should know. Having this fact screamed at her by some born again maniac as she walks into a clinic is not necessary in my view of things. The one time in my life when I have gone to a ‘women’s clinic’ helped me form this opinion. I was a sophomore in high school and I was highly alert when I went to said clinic as I was with my girlfriend whom at the time thought she was pregnant. We were not going to consider abortion, we just wanted a blood test and they offered one for free with no adult supervision required. This was a very important service to me at this point in my life and I was very grateful that there was not a law that forced me to call my parents in order to receive this or any other medical service of this sensitive nature. What happened when we got to the clinic was right out of the movies. We had parked in back of the building and as we walked up to the entrance we had to walk past a dozen or so ass holes holding up these huge signs with pictures of cut up fetuses in the bottom of garbage cans with the caption “Is this what you want for your baby?” I will never forget the contempt I had for these people as we calmly walked past them and into the clinic. As you may have guessed this was a very emotional time for my girlfriend and this little scene did not help. The people who do this kind of thing are not helping anyone, what they are doing is an assault on one of the most basic human rights, free agency. People should be free to make their own decisions. I personally believe that abortion should be avoided at all costs and that it should be carried out in only extreme cases of incest or when a woman’s health is in jeopardy, but for some reason I feel very strongly that the woman should still have the right to choose for herself. I guess I am against some abortions but fall short of being pro-choice. One thing I am 100% against is the government getting involved in this issue. I guess I am pro-choice but anti abortion? However since I will never be with child my opinion really should not matter that much. What if that aw-shucks populist Jesus Huckster actually got his law passed and abortion was illegal? What would be next? Making masturbation illegal? If you can’t kill the fetus why should you be able to kill the stuff that makes the fetus? I have laid waste to millions of half fetuses on the inner linings of my 501’s on a regular basis my whole life, what is to become of me? I am the Khmer Rouge of half fetuses and my bathroom towel is the killing fields. This is a complex issue but knowing facts like what is provided by honest research is always a good thing when faced with such difficult decisions.
6. Abused Girl – I was living in NYC when this happened back in 2006. I cried when I saw an interview on the local news of the police man who first found the girls body. I did not read the whole article I stopped when I realized what it was about. I hate this stuff, it really makes me feel sad deep in my heart. We just had a case like this in Utah where the police successfully lobbied the prosecutor to bring the death penalty against two parents who stuffed their daughter in a closet shelf, beat her, and starved her until she died at the age of 12 weighing 35lbs. NY does not have the death penalty because of bleeding heart liberal a holes, so you will not get your wish Dave. You will just get to pay more of your hard earned money to feed and clothe these vermin and pay for all of their legal appeals. On a bright note concerning this issue, I once got to meet and talk with Dave Pelzer, the author of the book “A Child Called It”. This book is the story of his life and how he survived what the State of California still calls the worst case of child abuse in its history. You should read this book, this guy is so inspiring.
7. Sue Everyone - When I am old I will get served papers informing me that I am being sued by one of my children for emotional stress and abuse from all of the times I stunk up the bathroom on the main floor taking my afternoon shits. Of coarse I will counter sue and blame it all on my wife. We are way too litigious in this country.
8. Mitt – There is great insight in the following paragraph, “Romney always seemed surprised, and a little hurt, by the very clear contempt the other Republican candidates had for him. He didn’t see himself as a compulsive panderer with no central core. He was a businessman, solving problems. Running for president was no different from manufacturing kitchen flooring, only somewhat more tiring. If your sales department told you that the clients would like your tile better if it was green instead of blue, you changed the color. You weren’t flip-flopping; you were responding to the mandate of the marketplace.” Go make another $300 Million and forget about politics Mitt you are a better business man then you will ever be a politician.
9. How can you not love the missionaries – Consummate do gooders, even the Times can’t pick on them? Above reproach I say.
10. This Crack Whore Won 5 of the 6 Gammys she was nominated for? What the F**k? How ironic is it that she won for a song about not wanting to go to rehab. She could not be at the Grammy’s due to the fact she is currently in rehab. People love irony and tragedy, always have and always will.
11. I love when smart people write smart things that make stupid people like Hillary Clinton look even stupider. I hate all of her BS railings about how things are in this country. She doesn’t know shit about anything, John Edwards was even more full of shit.
I am compelled to comment on the photo itself. I cant help but notice the pecking order.
How come the chunky one is getting the primo spot in the tribunal? Do you think she just bullies the skinny bitches to get her way?
This must be how things work in the lesbian world. Look at Rosey O'fat, she only dates skinny bitches, I now know why. This simple photo has provided a very insightful window into this world.
In the hetero world the guy with the most money gets to tell the skinny bitches when and where to suck and fuck. In the lesbo world it is all about who is biggest and talks loudest. Rosey must get it however she wants it, stupid fatty.
I wish the chunky one wasn't in the photo.
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