EV MECHAM IS WITH HIS LORD AND SAVIOR

Ev Mecham, active Mormon and former Governor of Arizona (impeached in 1988), spent yesterday with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It was his first holy Sabbath on Kolob in 83 years, since he left our precious Lord's side in the pre-existence to come to Earth for this mortal life.

Mecham was well-known for his insightful statements about minorities during the short time he was governor, such as:

"I'm not a racist. I've got Black friends. I employ Black people. I don't employ them because they're Black. I employ them because they are the best people for the cotton-picking job." - to Arizona Trend magazine, January 1987.

"As I was a boy growing up, Blacks themselves referred to their children as 'pickaninnies.' That was never intended to be an ethnic slur with anybody." - March 1987.

"Well, the NBA, I guess they forget how many White people they get coming to watch them play." - July 1987, after the National Basketball Association canceled annual meetings in Scottsdale to protest his rescission of a state holiday honoring the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"If a band of homosexuals and a few dissident Democrats can do that, why, heavens, the state deserves what else they can get." - July 1987, when a recall campaign against him was launched.

"Japanese really like to play golf, and their eyes really light up when you say we've got over 200 golf courses in Arizona. My goodness, golf courses. Suddenly, they got round eyes." - January 1988, discussing a tourism-promotion trip abroad.

The United States is "a Christian nation where Jews and Muslims can live in peace and religious freedom, and where Jesus Christ is the lord of the land." - December 1987, speaking to a Jewish group.

The guy actually was probably not a racist, and he was certainly not a crook that deserved impeachment. But he believed in Kolob and pre-existences and that having many wives was ok once (but not now. God damn it NOT NOW), and that Indians have dark skin because they were once (now?) very wicked and lazy, but that they'll turn white if they change to being good again, and that you should go into a Mormon Temple as often as possible and make throat-slitting gestures while uttering secret oaths, and that you should let old men touch your virtually naked body with oil on their fingers, and that George Washington and Adolf Hitler were Mormons (as were all the signers of the Declaration of Independence), and that if you didn't wear magic Mormon underwear that this violation of your holy commitments would bring upon you the judgment of God.

So basically he was a god damn idiot.