Bags is a god damn joke but that doesn't mean I'm not regretting my failure to donate to his campaign. I mean I know he married his wife when she was 12 or 13 years old, but now I see he just had an eye on the future.
We haven't had a potential First Lady this hot since one of Jessie Jackson's 18 mistresses was up for consideration. There's nothing better than a First Lady that gives anal on the first date.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Bags and Fun Bags
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Please do not take this the wrong way but if anything were to ever happen to my wife I would restrict my dating to women in the 18-24 year old age bracket. I might let the odd 25-27 year old in but only if she looked 16. Not that I have ever even for a moment wished that my wife would die, especially not right after all the kids left the house leaving me totally free of any responsibility and $800,000 richer from her life insurance policy. I swear to you this thought has only crossed my mind once or twice. Usually it is when I am in sacrament meeting noticing how hot some of the 18-24 year olds are that live near me.
I have actually told my wife that if she dies I will hire an 18 year old “nanny” for the kids and just wear her down until she agrees to have sex with me. I would probably use the same game I used back in college, keeping her up as late as possible and playing the Cure Disintegration CD on repeat until she gives in. That sleep depredation shit works, they use it on Al Qaeda in Guantanamo. For this plan to work my wife probably needs to kick it in the next year or so, my son is almost 14 and I do not need that little game killer around as my competition when I am trying to ply my wares.
Let me say this one more time, I do not want my wife to die, this thought only enters my mind when I am having the odd sexual fantasy race through my consciousness and we all know how infrequent men have thoughts about sex. I love my wife… I love my wife…I love my wife. Think of that Chris Rock movie…well don’t do that, that movie sucked but the moral of the story was OK.
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