Why Don't You Come See This

Notice that my list of greatest movies ever has somehow inexplicably left off "The Maltese Falcon", "Gone With the Wind", "Lawrence of Arabia", "The Wizard of Oz", and a bunch of other "watershed" films from the 30's and 40's. Maybe it's because those movies are absolute kaka.

There's nothing I dislike more than when people talk about how the best films ever were released when you could watch a movie for ten cents and get a popcorn with it. Maybe those people watch movies with their eyes closed, or maybe they just blacked out while they were at the theatre because the acting in the 30's, 40's, etc was nothing short of a joke.

Comparing Clark Gable's acting to Colin Firth's is like comparing George Mikan to Shaquille O'Neal. Mikan was great back when my grandma was wearing stone underwear and riding on a dinosaur, and when every guy in the NBA was as tall as my mom (not to mention that at that time their shorts were so small they all had a camel toe), but the two of them in their prime aren't even in the same universe. These same people probably think Charlie Chaplin's "Great Train Robbery" is cinematic genius. In fact, IMDB says about The Great Train Robbery: "This movie is a must-see". A must-see??? Maybe me wiping my ass is a must-see too.