RETARD UPDATE

Hot dumbshit and 2008 Best Actress winner Marion Cotillard, from evil France, is now stating that she was "misquoted" in an interview in which she said 9/11 was a conspiracy planned by the owners of the Twin Towers, who didn't want to update its/their (the Towers') technology infrastructure, and that people probably never landed on the moon.

The London Daily Telegraph quotes her lawyer as saying:

"Marion never intended to contest nor question the attacks of September 11, 2001, and regrets the way old remarks have been taken out of context."

"Marion also wants to mention that she knows more than eight words in English, even though in her Oscar speech she only used like four. She knows the English word for "bitch" and "douchebag" and is learning the words "I love Osama Bin Laden". Please give her some time to grieve." (last paragraph added)

Well, it never happened then. She didn't say it. A writer just made up a story and all the quotes and printed them and she never said any of those things. Didn't happen. I know how she feels.

One time in an interview with C-Span I said, "It's ok to masturbate while thinking about your grandmother. I just did it like 5 minutes ago on the Senate floor while thinking about Kathleen Turner and Katherine Harris getting it on with Rick Renzi. They both look like my grandmother."

But then when pressed on the subject I later admitted that my quotes were a conspiracy. They never happened. I didn't say it, I tell you. And then I put my index finger in front of my face and disappeared.